Back to school… Eeeek!!
Did you just hear that?! The loud scream??? That was Me!! – screaming inside of me!! It’s been more or less twenty sporadic years, including my school time, that i’ve been doing this routine of getting back to school after summer vacations but the mixed feelings wouldn’t change; be it of a student or of a teacher.
Yesterday I was a student, today I am a teacher.
As a student, Mom and dad would be running around fretting about the time to sleep ” It starts the next week. Go to bed early.” And we would be procrastinating watching tv, listening to music, browsing the web, talking to friends on phone excited about meeting up soon in the school and at the same time not wishing to wake up early. School ended then college finished, achieved the Masters degree and after a few years – landed in a school again!! what? really?! Things are still the same. Parents reminders have been replaced by husband’s. However latter stays the same – procrastination, watching tv, listening to music, browsing the web, talking to friends on phone – add blogging.
This time getting to see things from a different perspective – A teacher’s perspective. The thinking pattern changed from “why do teachers want to dictate us? *silent eye roll” to “Do these energy balls melt – like ever?! *silent eye roll x 2 “ In the earlier years, all one cared for was a group of great friends and partying with them. Now, that has been replaced by worrying about a bunch of precious students and their future. Before, for the most of its part, all what was significant was learning and growing individually but now, you don’t see yourself growing till each and every student of yours understands the concepts and till you provide the less able ones with after school extra support.
Well well well!!… almost everything changes and everything did change. Except for one – The mixed feeling of getting back – Back to school. Seeing the banners in the malls ” Back to school ” and not knowing whether to smile or frown. But on a second thought, like envisioning your friends in the past would bring it about – now, just the vision of the cute little bunch of your old darling students and the excitement of meeting the new adorable batch comes by your side and whispers in your ear enthusiastically:
” Hey, Smile!! ” 🙂
Bring it on school! I’m ready with open arms and a heart full of love 🙂
– When you become a Mom –
It’s 8:35 pm. I’m sitting on my sofa with a cup of tea on the coffee table, getting cold. I can’t get up to reach it since my little one is sleeping in my lap. I wish I could share the picture with you, the serenity I see on his face is just priceless.
It’s Thursday today and I came back from work in the spirit of celebrating the weekend but I was welcomed by a smiling yet docile little boy in my car who is normally nothing less than a fireball. I got perturbed. As I touched his skin, the mother instinct confirmed he isn’t well. Everyone said he’s alright but my heart knew he’s falling sick. Now he’s sleeping in my lap with high fever, making me sweat of the heat, moaning in his sleep. If only someone invented a body temperature diverting instrument, i’d divert it to me! How I wish.
I forgot to eat till I calmed him, medicated him and gave him his mid-day nap. Although he went in deep sleep right away but I wasn’t able to even lie down for my nap, really nervous about the temperature – all agile, thinking my baby might need me. I didn’t fall asleep; I fell in to a deep thought though. Memories pulled me back. My childhood. My mom. My ailments. Back to back chicken pox, measles, typhoid and four more diseases of the same nature. A point where my mom spent endless days admitted in a hospital with me, shedding tears from dusk till dawn, too unsure if I’d survive…too unsure if she would be able to endure losing another part of her body – she lost her second born when he was a few months. My son has only fever but I die a thousand deaths till he’s well – I can’t even imagine what my mom has been through all her life.
There are people who learn only through experience. I’m one of them. Whenever my son isn’t well I’m taken back to those days…to my mom’s suffering, I live my mom’s life and I realize the worth of a mom. Today I’m married, living in a different country. She’s back home but I still have the warmth of her priceless hugs with me, I smell her when I imagine myself in her lap, I hear her voice and my brain floods me with oxytocin. The comfort I find in her and the comfort I find in thinking about her can not be articulated. That’s the presence of a mom – even if it’s just her thought.
Oh, my son wants to change his side.. Oh oh, he’s a little uneasy.. Hmm okay, he’s up. He seems a little rejuvenated, sleeping with me…actually so am I and I’m sure you know why 🙂
– Nouvelle Logique Scandaleuse –
Behavior of a human. Have we ever stopped for a minute and thought about how God, The Almighty, ordained us to ” be kind to people and He will be kind to us.” Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), who in essence has to be our role model to survive in this world,
didn’t utter a single rude remark to even his enemies. We followed the same pattern. We have been around insensitive people, we heard boorish remarks, we smiled, didn’t bother and moved on.
And then one fine day, we opened the ” Urban “ dictionary and what we saw was grotesque beyond belief. Terms like
people pleasers, goody two shoes, kiss ass, door mats
and what not has been introduced. Yes! I know there are people who deserve to be called all that but more often, I see these words being used for genuinely good people. The sense of reciprocating generosity has been and is being abolished by leaps and bounds. Good people are being rewarded with bad judgement – and worse tag lines. Negative adjectives are daily used to describe positive people – What a sad bad world we love in, dismays me everyday.
Today, if you think about others – you are a people pleaser. If you don’t, you have a strong personality . If you know your morals & values and you are virtuous, you are goody two shoes. If you don’t Man, yo so cool.. If you are nice to others, you are a kiss-ass, you be an attitude freak and whoa! That babe ain’t no jerk.
I swear that saddens me – deeply. The beautiful teachings of the older generations are being questioned for all the wrong reasons. If people have been taught to be nice, They’ve also learnt to stare at you right in the eye and blind you right where you are standing, by the mere glare of their courage – don’t take them for granted. But that’s their last resort because they’ve been taught to be kind. Don’t push them please.
When I was little, this world was a whole lot better – a way better place to live in with nicer people around, who knew how to reciprocate goodness. Only a few people can exactly relate to what I’m saying. Only – a few – old school sort.
Can we all just sit back for a minute and think of a world free of the wrongly tagged ” people pleasers, goody two shoes and kiss asses” what kind of a world we’d be living in?
I say, A VERY SAD, DULL AND MECHANICAL WORLD.
A tribute to all those parents – December 16 attack
Eid-ul-fitr is approaching. I started planning for it quite a while ago. Not because I was self indulgent but I have a little prince who keeps my heart in his fist now – he calls me mama and I call him my life, my son.
The day me and my husband received the beautiful news of him – that day on, all our life our decisions our plans – each and everything started from considering him and ended at comforting him. We were happy. And we, by the grace of Almighty, are happier. In spirit, we’ve had a companionship of two years eight months and ten days or say thirty two months and ten days or in number it is nine hundred and eighty days. In flesh, just minus the ten months of conception and growth (you can do the math since my calculator gives an error if I ever dare do it!).
Now my darling is one year eight months and ten days old, by the grace of Almighty. I haven’t spent a single day not fretting about his food, his sleep, his cleanliness, his happiness, his comfort and you name it. Every day begins with planning about how to make him happy, what to make him eat, how to make him healthy, smart, strong and all that. We’ve dedicated our lives to him – happily and wholeheartedly.
Alhumdilillah even right now, I have him sleeping right by my side with his hand on my shoulder assuring me ” mommy I’m here “. And this is all I want from life now ” Let him be here, by my side – today and forever”.
I’m a mom. I understand the meaning of these three letters glued together – M-O-M. I feel the pain of the moms and dads who are not hugging their kids on this Eid. Their efforts were ten times more than ours. They deserved better but God knows what we do not. Still it wrecks my heart to think about them, their days, their nights, their special occasions (that is only if they define any occasion as special now).
Just a silent yet very intense prayer for our beautiful little martyrs and those amazing parents who were chosen by Allah for this huge test. May their days be lighter and their nights brighter. May they receive their glad tidings in this world and the hereafter. What they have lived through, not everyone can. Hope they are blessed with some miracle this eid to somehow, spiritually enjoy the presence of their little beautiful bundles of joy and May those gorgeous martyrs have a ball of a time in jannah on this Eid.
Happy Eid amazing parents, Happy Eid amazing children. May you reunite in aakhirah to never be apart inshaAllah. Long live the martyrs since they live forever! ❤️ We will always remember you.
Take it head on!
When life starts changing you for worse, put down your anchor. Just cease your engines, throw the hook in the deep blue sea of the strange world you are living in. Analyze yourself, your surroundings, your company – just everything that is related to you. And when you hook that derogatory, hate mongering parasite which is slowly but continuously stealing you of your essence that is the time when
you restart your engines, get in the fast lane and brutally crash all the evil that has been devouring on your virtues. Give it all the taste of its own medicine. Annihilate it till you reclaim your superiority over falsehood and till you resume to behold foul as foul & fair as fair, keep enjoying the ride.
saeedablogs 